Parenting In Islam: Top 23 Tips Aligning With The Islamic Teachings

Author

Horeya

10/12/2023

Table of Content

Parenting In Islam: Family is the root of a physically, intellectually, and spiritually healthy individual, and the base for a steady society, and a mature world. Therefore, Islam has made sure to look after the family, and provide it with all the guidelines that ensure its well-being, and contribute to its strength.

Through sound parenting of young children and a bright upbringing of the younger generations, families will be able to launch lively, and stronger generations into society, which will in turn help that society flourish and thrive.

What is parenting in Islam?

Parenting in Islam is guided by the teachings of the Quran and the traditions (Sunnah) of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). It is viewed as a sacred responsibility and an essential aspect of a Muslim's life.

Islamic parenting aims to raise children with strong moral character, a deep connection to their faith, and the ability to contribute positively to society. \

Islamic parenting is a holistic approach that integrates spirituality, morality, and everyday life. It emphasizes the profound responsibility parents have in nurturing the physical, emotional, and spiritual development of their children in accordance with Islamic teachings.

Top Principles of Parenting in Islam

Here are some key principles of parenting in Islam:

1. Islamic Values and Morality:

Parents are encouraged to instill Islamic values and moral principles in their children from a young age. This includes honesty, kindness, generosity, humility, and respect for others.

2. Tawheed (Oneness of Allah):

Parents are responsible for teaching their children about the oneness of Allah (Tawheed) and fostering a strong belief in the fundamental tenets of Islam.

3. Prayer and Worship:

Parents play a crucial role in introducing and encouraging regular prayers and acts of worship in their children's lives. Establishing a connection with Allah through prayer is considered a cornerstone of Islamic parenting.

4. Modeling Good Behavior:

Parents are expected to serve as role models for their children. Children often learn by observing their parents' behavior, so embodying Islamic values in daily life is essential.

5. Compassion and Mercy:

Islam emphasizes the importance of compassionate and merciful parenting. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was known for his kindness towards children, and parents are encouraged to follow his example.

6. Islamic Education:

Parents are responsible for providing their children with a proper Islamic education. This includes teaching them about the Quran, the life of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and the core principles of Islam.

7. Discipline with Kindness:

While discipline child in Islam is necessary, Islam encourages parents to discipline their children with kindness and without resorting to harshness or cruelty. Physical punishment is discouraged, and the focus should be on guiding children toward righteous behavior.

8. Communication:

Open and effective communication between parents and children is emphasized in Islam. Parents are encouraged to listen to their children, address their concerns, and provide guidance with patience and understanding.

9. Encouraging Independence:

Islam encourages parents to gradually empower their children to become independent thinkers and decision-makers while still guiding them within the framework of Islamic principles.

10. Supplication (Dua):

Parents are encouraged to make supplications (dua) for their children, seeking Allah's guidance, protection, and blessings for their well-being in this world and the Hereafter.

What Are the Parenting values of family in Islam?

In Islam, the values of the family are many, but they are also innate and come naturally for most people; so, just make sure to love your family members, enjoy their company, and treat them fairly.

But just in case you are wondering, among the most important Muslim family values are: trust, compassion, support, and mutual respect.

1- Trust:

Trust is one of the fundamental qualities among family members, and it has an amazing effect in bringing people together; as it allows family members to lean on each other, and show their weakness to each other.

Honesty can feed the trust threads between different family members; as knowing for sure that they will not lie to you, keep something from you, or ever cheat you will allow you to deeply believe they are trustworthy.

2- Compassion:

Compassion comes in different shapes and acts when it comes to being compassionate with your family. Hadith Al-Kisa is proof of this; as it shows us how family members address each other in a compassionate way, greet each other in a compassionate way, comment on each other in a compassionate way, and care for each other in a compassionate way.

So, when you meet your family members around the house, have a wide smile on your face, and greet them with love and sweet words. Make sure to comment positively on whatever nice thing done by another family member for you, and sincerely thank them.

3- Support:

Show your family members that you support them at all times, and no matter what. It will definitely be reassuring to know they have got your support, and help whenever they need it.

Make sure to always reassure them that they can come to you for support even if you are upset with them, or if you are not on the best terms at the moment; because being upset with them doesn’t undo the everlasting bond between you guys.

4- Mutual respect:

Mutual respect is one of the Islamic family values that help keep the family united and doesn’t leave a chance for the Shaytan to get to you.

Mutual respect must be between all family members, regardless of their age, gender, or authoritative figure within the family. And it’s the parent’s responsibility to establish a mutual respect rule within the household by respecting their little one and teaching their kids to respect them back.

5. Taqwa (Consciousness of Allah):

Taqwa refers to the consciousness of Allah and being mindful of one's actions. Islamic parenting emphasizes instilling in children a sense of God-consciousness, helping them understand that Allah is ever-watchful of their deeds. This value guides children to make ethical choices and maintain a strong moral character.

6. Tarbiyah (Educating and Nurturing):

Tarbiyah involves the holistic development and nurturing of a child, encompassing their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Parents are responsible for providing a comprehensive education that includes Islamic teachings, moral values, and practical life skills.

7. Rahma (Compassion and Mercy):

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was described as a "Mercy to the worlds," and this attribute is emphasized in parenting. Muslim parents are encouraged to approach their role with compassion, mercy, and kindness, fostering a loving and nurturing environment for their children.

8. Adab (Good Manners and Respect):

Adab refers to good manners and proper etiquette. Islamic parenting places a strong emphasis on teaching children to be respectful and courteous, not only towards elders but also towards peers and others in society. This includes demonstrating politeness, gratitude, and humility.

9. Shura (Consultation):

The concept of Shura involves consulting and communicating with family members, including children, in decision-making processes. While parents hold authority, Islam encourages them to involve their children in discussions, listen to their opinions, and consider their perspectives in matters that affect the family.

10. Sabr (Patience and Perseverance):

Parenting requires immense patience and perseverance. Islam teaches parents to be patient in the face of challenges, to persevere in their efforts to raise righteous children, and to understand that the fruits of their labor may take time to manifest. Patience is considered a virtue in Islam and is crucial in the parenting journey.

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What does the Quran say about parenting?

The Quran says a lot about parenting in Islam. In fact, it offers a full guide on how a parent should raise their kid. What's even better is it’s not in the form of rigid pieces of advice, but rather through setting an example, through Luqman and his son.

1. Luqman and his son:

Allah has dedicated a whole Surah in the holy Quran, and named it after Luqman, in which Luqman is actively practicing parenting, and trying to advise his son on a number of topics.

Luqman is a living example for new parents on how to approach kids, and advise them in a patient, and friendly way, instead of just giving them unexplained orders.

Through this Surah, Allah points out through the character of Luqman the most important points to teach our kids. So, make sure to pay special attention to these Islamic topics when raising your kid.

2. Teaching Faith and Righteousness:

"O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded." (Quran 66:6)

This verse emphasizes the responsibility of parents to safeguard their families from the consequences of wrongdoing by nurturing a foundation of faith and righteousness.

3. Kindness to Parents:

"And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.'" (Quran 17:24)

The Quran instructs children to treat their parents with kindness, humility, and mercy, acknowledging the sacrifices parents make in upbringing.

4. Discipline with Justice:

Parents are advised to discipline their children with justice, avoiding harshness or cruelty, and to raise them in an environment of love and compassion.

5. Guiding Children to Righteousness:

"And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you, and the [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness." (Quran 20:132)

This verse highlights the importance of guiding one's family to adhere to prayers and righteousness, as it leads to a favorable outcome.

6. Being a Source of Good Example:

"And those who say, 'Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.'" (Quran 25:74)

Believers pray for righteous spouses and offspring who bring comfort to their eyes and serve as positive examples for others.

7. Educating Children about Allah:

"And when your Lord proclaimed: 'If you give thanks (for the bounty I have bestowed on you), I will give you more; but if you are thankless, lo! My punishment is dire.'" (Quran 14:7)

Parents are encouraged to teach their children gratitude and thankfulness for the blessings Allah has bestowed upon them.

Prophetic Traditions on Parenting

Parenting in Islam is greatly influenced by the exemplary life of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). His sayings, actions, and approvals, known as Hadiths, provide profound guidance on the principles of raising children. Explore the rich Prophetic traditions on parenting, offering timeless wisdom for Muslim parents.

1. Prophet's Emphasis on Kindness:

"He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children and does not honor our old people." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Prophet Muhammad underscored the importance of showing kindness and compassion to both the young and the elderly, emphasizing the significance of a merciful and respectful upbringing.

2. Teaching Through Example:

"The best of you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family." (Tirmidhi)

The Prophet's own conduct within his family serves as a model for parents. Leading by example, he demonstrated the importance of treating one's family with utmost kindness and respect.

3. Importance of Moral Education:

"The most beloved deeds to Allah are the most regular and constant even if they were little." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Consistency in providing moral and Islamic education to children is highlighted, emphasizing that even small, consistent acts have great value in the sight of Allah.

4. Fulfilling Children's Rights:

"Your children have rights upon you. And your guest has rights upon you. And your wife has rights upon you." (Sahih Muslim)

Prophet Muhammad articulated the rights of children, stressing the importance of fulfilling their needs, guiding them morally, and providing emotional support.

5. Balancing Discipline with Gentleness:

"Make things easy for people and do not make them difficult, and cheer people up and do not drive them away." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet advocated for a balanced approach in parenting, urging parents to be gentle and accommodating while maintaining discipline in the upbringing of their children.

6. Encouraging Positive Reinforcement:

"If anyone cares for three daughters, disciplines them, marries them, and does good by them, he will enter Paradise." (Abu Dawood)

Prophet Muhammad highlighted the reward for those who treat their daughters with love, care, and positive reinforcement, promoting the importance of gender equity in parenting.

7. Praying for Righteous Offspring:

"O Allah, I seek refuge with You from associating anything with You knowingly, and I seek Your forgiveness for what I do unknowingly." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

The Prophet's supplication emphasizes the significance of praying for righteous and pious children, acknowledging the importance of seeking Allah's guidance in parenting.

8. Teaching Gratitude and Contentment:

"The rich is not the one who has plenty of property, but the rich is the one who has a contented heart." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

Prophet Muhammad emphasized instilling values of gratitude and contentment in children, teaching them to appreciate what they have and to be satisfied with Allah's blessings.

These Prophetic traditions provide timeless guidance for parents, reflecting the compassionate and wise approach of Prophet Muhammad in nurturing the next generation of Muslims.

The importance of family in Islam:

In Islam, the family unit is of significant importance to the achievement of Islamic goals regarding the state of the individual and the community. Therefore, the concept of the family is repeatedly honored in the Quran and Sunnah.

Our wise prophet (PBUH) has narrated an incident of Al-Shaytan and his soldiers that reflects the importance of families in Islam: “When the devil wakes he then dispatches his soldiers and when they return to him he says to them, “Whoever misguided a Muslim today, I will crown him”. So one of them comes out and says, “I made him divorce his wife.” Another hadith says: “I made him mistreat his parents.”

1- The founding pillar of society:

Family is a founding pillar of society; so, in order to build a healthy society, Islam is aware that much work should be done at the level of a family. One way to bring family members closer is through strengthening their sentiments of responsibility towards each other.

In order to ignite the fires of responsibility between the members of a family, the prophet says in a Hadith: “A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shall be questioned about them. A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them.”

This Hadith explains the role of men and women within a family, towards each other and their children, and makes this responsibility a normal sentiment that is non-negotiable.

2- A protection against going astray morally:

Islam considers building families a protection against going astray morally. Marriage helps men and women become more civilized and well-mannered with each other; so, it would significantly reduce the percentage of sexual harassment in a society, which would help all factions keep feeling safe and secure in society.

Through getting married, men and women are able to put the desires Allah has planted in them in the way he approves; as marriage reinforces the flourishing of a connected and communicative community.

This is clear in a Hadith of our prophet (PBUH): "O young men, those of you who can afford to should marry; it restrains the gaze and fortifies one's chastity. Those who cannot fast; it controls sexual desire".

3- An honorable method for preserving the humankind:

Marriage and family building is such honorable method for preserving humankind; as many creatures - including human beings - fight to go extinct, and reproduce through sexual intercourse, but what is unique about humankind is marriage and sexual intercourse becoming the key to lifelong sacred relationships, and a door towards one of the purist connections ever.

Allah has ordered us to involve sexual intercourse into a marital relationship, that ties two people before God forever, through saying a few words approved by Allah, and that bond would not get broken unless they break it and have Allah as their witness.

Obedience to parents in the Quran and Hadiths:

Obedience to parents is the base of safe and sound growth, and the basis of a bright upbringing as well; because at a young age, our parents have more life experience, and would guide us through all the right roads of life, offering us the core of their life experiences.

Obedience to parents is also strongly highlighted by Islam; as children are repeatedly advised and instructed to obey their parents in the Quran and Hadiths.

This is obvious the most in how Allah has singled out only one case of not obeying one’s parents, which reflects that one must obey their parents regardless of what else:

In Surah Luqman, verse 15: “But if they pressure you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of,1 do not obey them. Still keep their company in this world courteously, and follow the way of those who turn to Me in devotion˺. Then to Me, you will ˹all˺ return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do.”

The same idea was made even clearer in Surah Al-Ankabut, verse 8; as Allah Almighty says: “We have commanded people to honour their parents. But if they urge you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them. To Me, you will ˹all˺ return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do.”

The prophet has also stressed the importance of obeying parents, and being dutiful and filial to them: “One, who follows the orders of Allah with regards to obeying parents, shall have two doors of Paradise opened up for him. And if there happens to be only one parent, one door of Paradise shall open up for him.”

All families are destined to part in this Dunia, but in heaven there is no parting and no loneliness. So, help your family members, and always remind them that you want to be a family in heaven as well.

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